I am joining TikTok!
Congratulations to me, I would be joining TikTok.
It calls for celebration, music and fanfare that finally, I have found my way into TikTok.
What about TikTok?
First, a little back story. The entire idea of TikTok is that humans need a platform to share short videos of themselves or their experiences (or what ever else they feel inclined to share to the world). Other “premium humans” would appear to prefer to do that anywhere other than Facebook — but that some humans are not happy with Facebook is already a trite story.
If keen attention has been placed on the tech space in recent times, the observer would be able to spot that there has been a handful of platforms that appear to be doing what TikTok is doing currently. One these companies is the premier social video platform Vine.
Vine, a promising company at its prime was promptly swallowed by Twitter, and now they could as well be considered dead — or in less brutal words, integrated.
Another example of these viral video platforms would be Kik, but Kik appears to be currently asleep (at least from my research). Well asleep that a Chinese company would swoop in Gestapo style and totally capture the market.
Currently, the TikTok platform has been doing implausible numbers on the web. I am compelled to attach some very valid points to this claim:
- 500 million active users worldwide per month is not something to laugh about.
- In Q1 alone, TikTok amassed over 188 million new users.
Those alone are a lot of millions flying around from a platform originating from China. As of today, TikTok is now available in over 155 countries all over the world.
The problem with “premium humans”
This is not a big problem after all, but “premium humans” appear to get bored easily, and based on serious scientific study (see this article), the current version of humans have A VERY LOW ATTENTION SPAN. Now, carefully take that data and paste it on already entitled “premium humans”.
Attention shift is easily drifting from extremely engaging platforms like Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram et al, and moving to enticing ones like TikTok.
“Premium humans” like everything new — new food, new clothes, including new Facebook which they don’t seem to have, yet.
“Premium Humans” aren’t so bad after all
It might appear that this piece has a bias against “premium humans”, but it doesn’t. They are extremely important to our improvement and well being as a race of existent beings. We easily learn how to get better from their exhibited behaviour, in turn devising new ways to hold their attention.
We shouldn’t fall into depression by their behaviour however, or be likewise deterred by their Brownian taste.
Joining TikTok
On a faithful evening, I was casually strolling through Twitter, expecting to see the usual chaos, pettiness, advocacy and genuine fun attributable to Nigerian Twitter, but then I saw this:
A harmless tweet from Mark Essien.
And then I realised the truth of my age (that I am very old), mainly because this tweet is true to a fault, and I have been consciously avoiding joining TikTok since I heard about the Chinese company, same way I have refused to open an account with Snapchat and I had just come to know that my decisions bore root in the same reason Mark was tweeting about.
So, starting from this moment, I would begin to build an account and a following on TikTok. Anything to feel and exist as a young human (or anything remotely close to that).
@artofofiare is my TikTok account, please hack it as soon as you can.
Thank you.
Apologies!
Let’s assume hypothetically, that some of you — dear readers — thought this piece was about me getting an opportunity to work at TikTok and not some random diary ramble. Forgive me. It won’t happen again (at least, not until I come to a new realisation).
By the way, Japan should be a more enticing option.
Thank you for taking the time to read this article. Be sure to drop a few comments below.
